Monsters In The Shadows

Monsters In The Shadows
This is a one-shot by Iceflower. It was her entry for Laurelpaw's contest. It focuses on Hollyleaf.

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I escaped from my past, ran away from the consequences. I hid for weeks, not daring to step foot outside the inviting shelter of the tunnels. It quickly grew cold and frightening, though, and it's no longer nearly as promising.

Now I've been down here for so very long, I've begun to forget the simplest things. The sound of my brother's voice. The sharp, clean scent of the medicine den, where I worked so hard to learn.

Knowledge was my only love. I yearned to learn more, more, more. To live up to my true potential, I had to be intelligent enough to protect my Clanmates and myself.

I was stupid. A fool. I thought life would be easy. I believed every word spoken to me. Every lie that my so-called mother fed me. I thought I was loved. I thought I knew who I was and where I came from.

I was wrong.

I am an outcast. I'm not the deputy's daughter. I am an intruder, a half-Clan cat. I wasn't born to a happy family, I was born to a cat too ashamed to admit her mistakes, a cat that let me be raised by her sister, content to keep secrets and tell lies, so long as she never had to own up to her mistake.

Me and my brothers.

We were the mistakes. We should never have been born. The illegal children of a misguided warrior and a lovesick medicine cat. Did we bring our mother such shame and guilt that she didn't even wish to tell us the truth? She wanted us to remain blind, just like the rest of our Clanmates?

I have lived down here for so long, I've forgotten what the warm greenleaf sunlight feels like. I've grown used to stale, dusty air and chilly drafts, the ice-cold stream water. The shadows have become a part of me, and my thick black pelt seems darker than possible. It's damp and colourless down here, as if all the life has dried up like a puddle in the sun.

I met a cat, so ghost-like I'm certain he would've blown away in a strong wind. Fallen Leaves was his name. He promised to never leave me, just as I had left my Clanmates, when the truth was too much to bear and I had the scarlet blood of one of my Clanmates on my paws. But he lied. He left me. He said he would be back by nightfall, and here I am, still waiting.

But I am not alone. I have friends, yet they are simultaneously my enemies. They are the monsters I have dreamed up while I lurked deep underground, wondering if anyone might find me here. Maybe death would not even be able to find me, and I would live on, in which life would become a punishment, for I would be forever alone.

But my monsters keep me company. It's not much, and they never speak, but it's enough. Some are large, hulking beasts with thick, ragged fur or glistening green scales, and sharp dog-like teeth. Some are smaller and innocent-looking, with fluffy fur and kind eyes.

Evil or good, cruel or kind, it doesn't matter to me. They all haunt me. They follow me around like my own shadow, they make sure I'm never alone. They are my only friends in this world of darkness and sorrow, and I can only hope that they, unlike Fallen Leaves, will never desert me.

So when you suspect there's a monster trailing you, always sticking close, don't be so quick to judge.

Because, who knows? They might become your best friend.

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