Talk:Green Ghosts/@comment-27039035-20161101152330

Wow! Good job, Winter! I just read the whole thing and loved it. The writing style is very distinct and it flows nicely! I was totally sucked in from the first sentence. (Ironically, I'm starting a book soon about the circus!) My only suggestion is to work on showing instead of telling, especially in the first few paragraphs. Also, the logistics don't entirely add up. How could four cats completely suppress three? Wouldn't their will to live empower them to escape? A change in mood would have been nice too. While I understand the main character lost her willpower and was floating through life, more of an observer than anything else, having her gain a bout of confidence, only to have it come crashing down, would have made for a bigger impact on the reader. While you showcased this briefly at the end when their performance failed, I feel like there was room for some improvement. (Constructive criticism section over.) Overall, though, it was amazing! Oh my gosh! I can't wait to read your next fanfiction! :)