Deception of Stars

Deception Of Stars is RaggedOaks, dark, creepy Halloween fiction/contest entry. So yeah, please comment and enjoy.

(Warning: contains sucide type stuff, so if youre sensitive to that kind of stuff, be warned)

Deception of Stars
Who fools me? Who blinds my eyes?''' '''

Wherever They are going, to the training hollow, to hunt, to share tongues, it doesn't matter,

 I’m not allowed.

 I take the fresh kill back, I train alone, I wash myself.

 My heart screams for, one, someone, anyone, to look back and see me

 Once, just once

 But I know no one will.

 How am I so alone, amongst so many cats?

 How am I so lost?

 My mother and mentor, she asks if I am well, then wanders off, her clan duties make her a busy cat,

 Too busy, too busy for me.

 “I'm Pinewhistle's daughter though” a proud voice then says inside me. “I will work my own problems out, and be strong, like her.”

 So I make Star.

 And we play.

 I rescue Star, Star rescues me, and sometimes we both save the whole clan.

 Over and over again

 Dream after dream, story after story

 Star is my best friend, a tom who loves me and a leader who takes me under her wing.

 She is anyone.

 She is the best cat I know.

 They ignore me, They let me fall.

 But Star catches me,

 And takes me to her world, her wonderland.

 A land where I am not silenced.

 I go there, again and again

 And suddenly, They, the old world, grows darker, colder.

 It casts me out farther, rejects me.

 I now never feel that scream for someone to look back and see me,

 Instead I can not wait for them to leave.

 I want to stay lost, alone.

 Stars world, it takes the pain away from being alone

 It makes the silence fun.

 It turns the shadows into shining stars

 And I come back to reach for them, again and again.

 I never seem to reach those stars

 But I dread having to return to the real world, the world full of pain, every day

 I don't want to go back again, no I don't want to go back

 I wish no longer to control my dreams.

 I want to be like Star

 I want to be free, free of Them

 And my dreams, they must become what they promise to me.

 My dreams promise to keep me, never to abandon me.

 I want to reach those dreams, those stars who taunt me from across the sky

 I want to fulfill those stories and dreams

 One night I decide,

 I can no longer live between the two worlds.

 They, are now the world of the unreal,

 They abandoned me, and treated me unjustly

 And so I must leave Them

 My senses are a deception

 The pain is a deception.

 They are a deception.

 It is only the world of ideas, the wonderland of dreams that is real.

 It has to be.

 I’m sure, and so is Star.

 “They are a deception”, she tells me, “all you have to do is will yourself out of this world and into mine”

 She is right I know

 I will walk up to the sky, and then walk right past it

 And there, waiting for me, will be Star, and all our wonderful dreams.

 I will not be alone. I will not be silenced. I will not have to return to Them.

 I run out into the leafbare forest, to a place Star shows me.

 It is a strange place, because here the sky meets the sky, and the stars dance like white flickering flames across it.

 I know what I must do and that It has to be done.

 I see Star, she waves and calls to me from across the starlit expanse.

 I am not afraid.

 Determinedly I take a step into the sky.

 My paw feels terribly icily cold but I know my senses deceive me as usual.

 I leap.

 I see swirling, dancing stars above and below me.

 Then pain, stabbing pain, and darkness,

 Plunging, choking darkness.

 Suddenly all the stars go out at once.

 Then I realize,

 I have been such a fool.

 Who fools me? Who blinds my eyes?

 I do,

 I fool myself.

 There was no monster, there was no Star, there was only me.

 Me all alone.

 I choke on Icy tears who have been carelessly flung from an already chilled heart.

 I am drowning.

 And my dreams are helpless as I fall into nothing.

 I am abandoned into death.

 And I feel no more,

 So alone.

 

 It's so dark here

 No it's not even dark

 It’s just empty.

 I am empty.

 Empty because Starclan gave me my wish

 I am like Star now

Just as I wanted...

 I am nothing

 I am the dream you saw in the corner of your eyes

 And when you turned to see it

 It was nothing

 I am the Star that so many cats look up to see

 One cat sees it as a wish

 One cat sees it as a long gone loved one

 One cat sees it as a story

 And another sees it as a dream

 To Them I am anything

 But in the end, I remain nothing, a cold unreachable star

 Unreachable evan to myself now

 A star, hidden in every cat's mind

 I am deception, I am nothing

 And nothing cannot be alone.