Talk:Can't Escape/@comment-28511830-20170818022342

Chapter 3 review-

I totally agree with Swan at the start here :P. Also the humour in the chapters actually balance with the seriousnesss instead of ruining it, with swan being the type of character to make jokes at bad times and stuff. Once again, I love the dynamic between characters and how they interact. The "Oh my hamilton!" and "You mean oh my once upon a time!" didn't break the atmosphere since you included the tones of seriousness straight afterward. The entire forest scene with Sunny and tracking really felt very in character. One thing to add- Why would they think that they had a leader just because they were following the river? Maybe explain that a bit? ANYWAYS onto the next part

Oh. My. God. The Silo!!! the atmosphere was incredible! Especially the hallucination/memory!! I loved the way you described it, like I said earlier, just enough to give us a clear picture but with room for us to imagine more. The wollow cameo had me laughing so hard xD. THere isn't really much to say about that part apart from it was amazing, so moving on.

AAAAAAAAAAAA Moss' discovery was so crazyyyyyy!!!! AND THE ENDING OmG ASDFGHJKL

Also I found a few mistakes- just because she wants to 'see what has happened.' Wants should be wanted because the whole chapter is in past tense, so it wouldn't make sense.

";that's how clean they were" should only be included if in present tense. You could've put something along the lines of with how clean they were.

"To who it belongs to?" should be Who does it belong too? or similiar.

Technically, "Wavey has the most syrup always!" would be correct if a comma was before the always, but normally people owuld say wavey always has the most syrup instead of that.

Also if you scroll up, the sentence "Swan froze. Sunny looked horrified too" is weirdly formatted. Feel free to correct my corrections(:P) since nglish isn't my frist language either.

But overall, this chapter was AWESOME!!!! Keep it up!!