Talk:Amaranthine/@comment-28796532-20170725201652

Contains like a ton of criticism.Sorry.

Part one

So,I like the way this introduces us to the world of the Twilight Hunters - you learn,bit by bit,each of the characters,their social status,and their personality.The one cat I don't really understand is Torrent.I barely know her name,and I honestly am guessing when I refer to her as a girl.

Part two

This introduces us to training and the war.Okay so the training was nice when you point out they never have trained against cats before,but then you don't describe the actual session,just Torrent's breif thoughts there.I would have liked to see the confusion or the instincts that take over throughout this.

Part three

It was very nice when Cherry gets taken and the reactions of all the cats.This is also the chapter where I actually was like “Oh!Torrent is alive!"Before she was more a peice of the scenery - she was nessacary but unimportant.She had no thoughts,just robotic actions.She opens up more in part three.

I like the Cadets defying Magnolia and Onyx.It gives them personality.

Part four

The battle comes.We see that the second group of cats is less about social structure and more about practicality.I like the contrast between the Twilight Hunters and the other group.Plus they found Cherry.Cool.

Part five

More fights.Jail break.

This chapter was the best,in my opinion,because Torrent spends most of it thinking.There is little dialogue,but when a reader unstands a character's thoughts and reasoning,the character is more likable.

Part six

A nice,happy chapter.Honestly Blizzard is my favorite.

OVERALL REVIEW

Torrent was a robot most of the time,with little thought or feeling.Sorry,but it is true.Even little things like rain falling on her face shocked me because of how she rarely reacts.That sounds harsh,but I couldn't relate to her much throughout the story,and that is why.

Also Blizzard is awesome and Onyx has a cool name.