Thread:Sundance1/@comment-216.126.81.24-20170214141515

(I can't post it on the Tavern right now :P I'll do it later!)

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My name is Lily and I'm a hunter. I'm part of what some cats call a rogue group.

We live in a large thicket on the edge of a forest. There are four sections of our group: there's the scouters, who are the younger cats in training and tag along with the other sections until they know what they want to do; the hunters hunt for the group; the guards keep the camp safe; and the patrollers watch our borders and fight our battles.

The four sections don't really interact much. Sure, it's often that cats from different sections end up becoming mates and we talk a lot amongst our friends within our sections, that's pretty much it.

The group is massive, and I'm honestly surprised that we didn't have to extend our camp into the forest with the 50 or so cats in our group, all led by Kestrel, our nice and respectable leader.

I have a group of friends and most of them are also hunters. We're a close group, paying special attention to each other and solving each of our unique problems.

But there's someone outside our circle that I pay attention to.

I don't know his name or what section he's in, but he's definitely either a guard or patroller. I call him River and all I know about him from our few interactions is that he's a bit shy and nice.

But for some reason, I love him.

He has fur the same shade of black as the sky on a moonless night and his eyes are a rich deep brown colour that just lights up whenever he's happy.

Meanwhile, my dark coloured fur makes me blend in with my surroundings so much that the total amount of time that River has paid attention to me adds up a grand total of a couple heartbeats.

But I love him.

I see River from time to time around the camp. My eyes are always drawn to him whenever I see him and I always pretend that I'm not staring. I think I'm pretty successful as none of my friends have commented on any "intense glaring" so far.

When I'm laying in my nest at night, I dream of scenarios where my love life was actually worth something. A hunter I knew from my kithood was part of that near-nonexistent love life and right when I realized that I had feelings for him, I discovered that he had gotten a mate. So, I have terrible luck.

It makes my heart flutter whenever I daydream of River and I smile when I remember that I love him.

My world came crashing down a couple seasons later when I saw the cat that I loved from a distance happily cuddling with a beautiful, brown-furred she-cat. I kept my heartbreak a secret, only letting the painful grips around my emotions tighten late at night when no one could hear me.

It hurt me so bad and my sister tried to comfort me when I told her. She said that sometimes, relationships just don't last, and besides, I barely knew him. Heck, I didn't even know his real name!

But I loved him all the same.

Unfortunately, I didn't get over this little crush fast enough for it to not bother me later on. I was just minding my own business one day, waiting for one of my friends to come back from a hunting patrol.

Then River and his mate came back into the camp, sides pressed together and happily purring away, walking right past me. All the emotions I thought I had buried just came rushing back and, wow, did it hurt.

I didn't talk much the rest of the day, but I was one of the quieter ones in the group so it was pretty much normal behaviour for me.

Looking back on it, I should've expected it; I barely know this tom and I'm way too shy to stride out on my own to find someone.

It doesn't really hurt much anymore, but seeing those two is a sore reminder about loneliness, which I'm way too familiar with.

All I can do is admire River from a distance.

But I love it. 