A Solemn Lack of Garlic Bread

A spoof fanfiction by Bananas for the 5/27/17 Wikia Gathering.

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The cats of StarClan were getting concerned about the health of the other Clans. Greencough had infected many, and a period of drought had shriveled up the majority of herbs. None of it was strong enough to heal the sick and dying. StarClan then decided that they must go to their last resort..... BlogClan.

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BlogClan was the weirdest of the Clans. They were cats, but with the knowledge of twolegs. They lived in small communities, and they had strange taste in food. They cooked it. In fire. This idea terrified StarClan, so they refused to associate with them.

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Even with all of the cons to the other Clans knowing about BlogClan, StarClan decided to send them a sign to move to the lake anyway. What harm could they do? It's not like they could start a fire, or teach them about the health benefits of not eating raw meat. It's not like they would ever ever think to introduce them to the idea of manufacturing goods or electronical devices. Nope, not possible.

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The moment BlogClan walked into the lake territory, all eyes were on them.

"Hwat the heck," said Wollow.

And that was the start of something great.

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"Here is how you plug in a toaster," instructed Willa, frantically stabbing a plug at the wall of the medicine den, looking confused.

"Here's how to boil tea leaves without catching your fur on fire!!" Laurel said, accidentally spilling it all over a RiverClan cat.

"IT BURNS I'M DYING I'M DYING I'M DYING STARCLAN HELP ME!!!!!!!!!" the warrior screamed.

"You have a solemn lack of garlic bread," said Icy with tears in her eyes.

RiverClan was severely offended and pushed BlogClan into the lake.

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StarClan looked down upon the other Clans and sighed deep StarClan-like sighs as each BlogClan cat resurfaced and swam onto shore.

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Lup ran into the WindClan camp, screaming "APPLESAUCE IS LIFE! APPLESAUCE IS LIFE!", and smashing everyone's fruit.

Birchy said, "HIIIIIII HIHIHIHIHIIHII hihihihihihiHIHIHIHIHIII" to everyone!!

Someone murdered all of their least favorite characters *coughcough* cats and BlogClan got kicked out of WindClan. They also told them that they would not share their herbs with their medicine cat.

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ShadowClan wouldn't let them cross the boarder after hearing from inside sources that BlogClan was a danger to society.

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ThunderClan threw a party to welcome BlogClan.

"OMSC WE LOVE NEW CATS!!!!!!" squealed Jayfeather, fangirling over life itself.

"We broke Jayfeather," said everyone.

"WE'RE NO STRANGERS TO LOOOOVE....." sang every cat at the party.

StarClan disowned everyone and wept for joy.