Castaways/Season One/Week One

I just figured I'd get started with this while I wait for more BlogClanners to join.

Introduction Show
Voice-over: Hello everyone! All looking forward to Castaways, eh? Well, no one’s going to be introduced until ONE CAT arrives…please welcome your host, MISTLE(CORN)TOE!

(Mistleheart marches onto the stage, angry)

Mistleheart: I told you not to call me Mistle(corn)toe, you ungrateful lizard! What a way to begin an entire season.

(no reply)

Mistleheart: (sighs) Hi, I guess, and welcome to -

Cat in the Crowd #1: Shut up, we don't want to listen to you!

Mistleheart: (blasts the cat to the moon) So that’s taken care of. You can pretend that never happened.

(awkward silence)

Mistleheart: Anyway, welcome to CASTAWAYS! 16 housemates enter; only one will win! And yes, this stage is only temporary. We will soon be leaving for the…ISLAND!

(awkward silence)

Mistleheart: (glaring) Where’s the dramatic music? THERE’S SUPPOSED TO BE DRAMATIC MUSIC!

Producer: Sorry!

(Dramatic music plays)

Mistleheart: (grumbling) We’re never going to get anything done at this rate. (raises voice) Without further ado, let me introduce to you our first contestant…WILLOWPAW!

(Willowpaw walks onto the stage)

Willowpaw: (spots Mistleheart) Hey, Mistleheart!

Mistleheart: Hi! Listen. When that door opens, you step through and you’ll be in the ship!

Willowpaw: The ship? Door?

Mistleheart: (points)

Willowpaw: (bares teeth) I’m not going into a Twoleg thing!

Mistleheart: (sighs) It’s like any other den!

Willowpaw: FINE, FINE!

(the door opens, and Willowpaw steps through)

(inside the ship)

Willowpaw: (is entering) Woah, this ship-thing is huge!

Mistleheart: Yeah, it is. It cost a few billion dollars to build it, so you better keep it fine.

Willowpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mistleheart: Sorry for startling you...

Willowpaw: No one ever told me that you could see me from the stage! >:(

Mistleheart: Well yeah, it's not like it's important. I'll introduce the next contestant.

Willowpaw: Please do. It's boring in here, and you're grumpy.

Mistleheart: I AM NEVER GRUMPY! >:(

(onstage)

Producer: Uh...

Mistleheart: Okay, okay! Please welcome our second contestant...MOONPAW!

(Moonpaw walks onto the stage holding a wand)

Moonpaw: Hi, Mistle!

Mistleheart: Hi. What's that for?

Moonpaw: Magic, of course! What else? You want to see it? :D

Mistleheart: Eh, sure, whatever.

Moonpaw: (waves magic wand)

(it begins to snow)

Mistleheart: AHHHHHHHHHHH! SNOW!

Moonpaw: Uh, sorry. (waves magic wand)

(the snow disappears)

Mistleheart: Thanks. When that door opens, step through it, and you'll be in the -

Moonpaw: Ship, yes, I know.

(the door opens, and Moonpaw steps through)

(inside the ship)

Willowpaw: (sighs) This sure is taking a long time.

(Moonpaw enters)

Willowpaw: (brightens) Oooh! Hi, Moonpaw!

Moonpaw: Hi, Willowpaw!

Williwpaw: What's that magic wand for?

Moonpaw: (beams) I'm a magician, obviously! Do you want proof?

Willowpaw: Sure.

Moonpaw: (taps the ship walls with the wand)

(the ship turns into a spacecraft)

Willowpaw: Woah. How do you do that?

Mistleheart: TURN THE SHIP BACK IMMEDIATELY! >:(

Moonpaw: Okay, okay! (taps the walls again)

(the spacecraft turns back into a ship)

(onstage)

Mistleheart: Our third contestant is...WINTERPAW!

(nothing happens)

Mistleheart: (glancing around irritably) I said, the third contestant is -

(Winterpaw swings in on a wrecking ball)

Winterpaw: (jumps off wrecking ball)

(the wrecking ball destroys the opposite wall)

Mistleheart: That's going to need a lot of glue to put back together. -_-

Winterpaw: Hi, MISTYPOOBABE!

Mistleheart: I'm actually fine with that. (shoves Winterpaw through the door)

Producer: Hey!

(inside the ship)

Willowpaw: Did I just hear something?

Moonpaw: Yes, you did. Revealius!

Willowpaw: Uh...what?

Moonpaw: The third contestant is WINTERPAW, and he just destroyed an entire wall with his wrecking ball.

Willowpaw: Uh...what?

Moonpaw: I'm telling the truth, you know. It's magic!

Willowpaw: Uh...what?

Moonpaw: Stop saying that! >:(

(Winterpaw enters)

Willowpaw: Hi, Winter!

Winterpaw: Shut up.

Willowpaw: That's hurtful! D:

Moonpaw: I hope I don't end up in the same camp as him...

Winterpaw: WHAT WAS THAT? >:(

Moonpaw: Uh...nothing!

(onstage)

Mistleheart: Poor Willowpaw! D: Winterpaw...you destructive little...

Producer: Mistleheart, just get on with it for once! Anyway, let's welcome our next and fourrh contestant...SILVERPAW!

(Silverpaw walks onstage)

Mistleheart: Hi, Silverpaw! How're you doing?

Silverpaw: F-f-fine.

Mistleheart: (ignores Silverpaw's anxiety) So, are you excited to be on Castaways?

Silverpaw: Y-y-yes.

Audience: HURRY UP! THIS IS BORING! WE WANT ACTION!

Mistleheart: (glares at the audience) When that door opens, Silverpaw, step through it and you'll be in the -

Silverpaw: Don't say it!

Mistleheart: Say what? Ship? Why -

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts through the door)

(inside the ship)

Winterpaw: (grumbles)

Willowpaw: Can you stop that? It's getting annoying.

Winterpaw: STOP WHAT? YOU LITTLE -

Willowpaw: Stop grumbling, for the love of StarClan!

Winterpaw: GRRRRRRR! You won't stop me! Mini-Jayfeathers! Attack! (snaps claws)

Mini-Jayfeathers: (swarm around Willowpaw)

Willowpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Moonpaw: I just went to the dirtplace, and this happened?

(Silverpaw enters)

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Winterpaw: Welcome to this weirdo-filled ship.

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts)

Winterpaw: What did I ever do?

(onstage)

Mistleheart: A ship full of weirdos. How convenient.

Producer: Mistleheart...

Mistleheart: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Please welcome the next contestant, WOLLOW!

(Wollow bounces onstage on a pogo stick)

Wollow: HI, MISTLE(CORN)TOE!

Mistleheart: Don't make me come over and maul you...

Wollow: TOO BAD! YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT THE GREAT WOLLOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mistleheart: Why not?

Wollow: 'CAUSE I'M INSANE AND PROUD OF IT!

Mistleheart: Okaaaaaay.

Wollow: OOOH, A DOOR! PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (dashes through the door)

Mistleheart: Glad that's over.

(inside the ship)

(Wollow is entering)

Wollow: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM THE SUPREME SQUIRREL OF GREEN HOTDOGS!

Willowpaw: Hi, other Willowpaw!

Wollow: (growls) WHO? YOU STOLE MY NAME!

Winterpaw: (backs away) Not an insane cat...

Wollow: (turns into an airplane and zooms towards Willowpaw)

Willowpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Moonpaw: (gasps)

Silverpaw: (gasps) LE GASP!

Winterpaw: (sighs)

Willowpaw: HELP - ME!

Moonpaw: (waves the wand)

Wollow: (snaps the wand in half) MWAHAHAHAHAHA! DON'T MESS WITH THE HOT PINK BUNNIES!

Moonpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUU! MY WAND! D:

(onstage)

Mistleheart: Please don't tell me they're going to hold a funeal for the wand.

Audience: (cheers)

Mistleheart: The next contestant is...LAURELPAW!

(Laurelpaw walks onstage)

Laurelpaw: RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE!

Mistleheart: No.

Laurelpaw: RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE?

Mistleheart: No! D:

Producer: You just have to ask her three times, no more, no less.

Mistleheart: PRODUCER! EVILNESS! D:

Laurelpaw: RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE?

Mistleheart: Okay, fine! >:( But not for long...

(the door opens)

Laurelpaw: (snarls) That's a Twoleg den!

Mistleheart: (groans) It's perfectly safe, alright?

Laurelpaw: If there're Twolegs in there, I'm blaming you...(steps through the doorway)

(inside the ship)

(Laurelpaw is entering)

Laurelpaw: (to Winterpaw) RESPECT THE CANNED CHEESE!

Winterpaw: No.

Laurelpaw: Respect the canned cheese?

Winterpaw: No.

Laurelpaw: Respect the canned cheese?

Winterpaw: NO! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU PLANNING TO ASK?

Laurelpaw: But...but...

Wollow: ROCK CANDY IN YOUR FACE! ROCK CANDY IN YOUR NOSE! ROCK CANDY IN YOUR BRAIN!

Willowpaw: Uh, would someone tell me what's going on?

Winterpaw: None of your business, Rainlady.

Moonpaw, Willowpaw, and Silverpaw: Hurtful! D:

Moonpaw: Well...welcome to the wandless ship -

Silverpaw: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (bolts)

Laurelpaw: Okaaaaaay.

(a pie lands in her face)

(onstage)

Mistleheart: Nice job, WOLLOW, you just started a FOOD FIGHT and those are old-fashioned.

Audience: WHO SAYS?

Mistleheart: I do! Please welcome our next contestant...ICEFLOWER!

(Iceflower walks onstage)

Mistleheart: Hey, Iceflower!

Iceflower: Oooh, hi!

Mistleheart: You're the first contestant who's a warrior.

Iceflower: I am? I'm special! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mistleheart: I was...not hoping for that reaction. Anyway, when that door opens, you steo through and you'll be in the ship!

Iceflower: (junps back) A ship? But I'm seasick! And I'm scared of water!

Mistleheart: You are? But it says nowhere in your application form that -

Iceflower: Well that would have been embarrassing, right?

Mistleheart: I don't understand. You just announced it in front of our entire audience.

Iceflower: (gasps) Did I? I'd better dash!

(the door opens, and Iceflower bounds through)

(inside the ship)

Winterpaw: (throws potatoes at Willowpaw) UGH. THIS SHOW IS SO BORING! WHEN ARE WE GOING TO THE ISLAND?

Wollow: (dumps soup on Winterpaw) WHEN PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS START DANCING! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Silverpaw: (to Moonpaw) Can't you cure her of her insanity?

Wollow: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! I WILL NOT LET YOU TAKE MY INSANITY AWAY! (mauls Moonpaw)

Moonpaw: OWWWW! OW! I didn't say yes!

(a pie lands in Laurelpaw's face again)

Laurelpaw: (throws pie at Willowpaw) Hey! You did that?

Willowpaw: NO! THAT WASN'T ME!

Laurelpaw: Then who else could it have been? You are the only suspect!

(Laurelpaw grabs a hundred pies out of thin air and throws them at Willowpaw)

Winterpaw: Hehe...this looks fun...

Wollow: MASTER, DO YOU WISH FOR TEA? OR POOP?

Winterpaw: -_-

(Iceflower enters)

Iceflower: Hey there guys!

Winterpaw: (unable to speak)

Iceflower: Oh...(blushes)

Laurelpaw: OOOOOOOOOH! WINTERPAW AND ICEFLOWER, SITTING IN A TREE.

Winterpaw: (red-faced) SHUT UP BEFORE I MAUL YOU!

Iceflower: Uh...okay. (leaves)

Winterpaw: But...awww.

(onstage)

Mistleheart: That was FUNNY! XD Now, let's welcome contestant number eight...

Tbc