I Won't Let Go

Screeches slashed through the serene chirping of crickets and bubbling of water. Our camp was being ambushed by the bothersome rabbit-chasers who’d been crossing our border for not days, but moons. WindClan. They’d returned to claim our territory after we’d been driven out. We’re not your prey. I repeated the words aloud. But despite my braveness, my heart was pounding, terrified. I was terrified. The WindClan warriors are tougher than everyone thinks. And much more ruthless. Relax and let your claws do the work. I spun, slicing at pelts that blurred before my eyes. “Hey!” yelped familiar voice. I recoiled, shocked to find that I’d accidentally scored my unsheathed claws across Fawnflight’s flank. My Clanmate hissed at me. “Watch where you’re going.” I apologized, and returned to less dirty tactics. I must act honorable. Pride was sometimes more important to a loyal ShadowClan apprentice than strength. Use your mind, Fernpaw! I dropped using brute force and began weaving around my opponent, a big WindClan tom, using my speed to match his strength. But as I triumphantly finished him off, sending him fleeing for the entrance, I realized the WindClan cat’s attack had clearly been planned. Just as we were defeating the first wave of warriors, a second patrol emerged and joined in the assault, driving back our exhausted, horrified forces. Claws slashed at my sides. Then a heavy weight pressed down on my shoulders. A she-cat was hanging on to me. She was another apprentice - pale brown, like most of the WindClan cats, but with strange eyes that shifted in color as she clung on to me. Snarling in rage, I writhed and thrashed out of her grip. I sensed her claws dig into my neck. Then I suddenly felt faint and dizzy. I stumbled back, dimly aware of the apprentice roll away, stunned at what she’d accomplished. Warriors never kill to prove themselves! I thought desperately, but even as the words raced through my head, I was aware of dark blood running through my fur and staining the ground beneath me. “FERNPAW!” My mother screamed as she saw me. She ran over. “You’re hurt, you’re hurt!” she cried, panicking. I tried to speak, but I coughed up blood. I could understand why Sorrelstrike was so worried; I was her only kit, and she must be determined to save me. “We need a medicine cat!” Sorrelstrike panted. She wasn’t faring well herself - her pelt was crisscrossed with scars, many of them bleeding freely, and yet she didn’t seem to care. She just stared at Fernpaw. “Cloudshine!” The medicine cat looked up. The speckled gray she-cat was all the way across the clearing, tending to an injured warrior. “Don’t - worry,” I managed, although I knew there was reason to worry. “I’ll be fine.” Droplets of blood splattered onto the grass next to me. I tried to stay conscious - I knew I was about to die, and there would be nothing to stop my death. I’d just be another dead apprentice, driven out of her home, returned, and killed. Cloudshine stared uncertainly at me, her forepaw hovering over the injured warrior. Won’t she help me? I thought, even as I knew there was no hope. Was there? But why wasn’t Cloudshine moving? “What are you doing, just standing there?” Sorrelstrike screeched, barreling across the clearing toward the medicine cat. “Save my kit!” I collapsed onto the grass as my mother confronted Cloudshine. I knew why Cloudshine wouldn’t help me. I was just an apprentice. Warriors were more important than me. I didn’t need to be saved. Besides, there was always the afterlife. Sorrelstrike came back to me. “Fernpaw, please hang on,” she pleaded. “Cloudshine will be done soon…” The warriors howling now were mostly ShadowClan. “I won’t let go,” I promised, my voice choked and hoarse. But speaking only made my blood fall faster. “I won’t let go until…” But I never would say until it’s over, because then, I lost the struggle for life. I sank into darkness as comforting as my old life, and yet as menacing as a tiger.